Remember

The song "Castles Made of Sand" by Jimi Hendrix carries memories for me, because I listened to it the morning I woke up in the hospital. The night before I had been hit by a truck while I was riding my bicycle on North Douglas Highway, so when I woke up in the morning, I had stitches criss-crossing my forehead, sunken black eyes, and blood and gravel embedded in my hair, which was perched on top of my head in one tangled mass like decrepit bird's nest. But that was only the outside. On the inside, I had bruises buried deep in my bones, a fractured wrist and ankle, and a broken pelvis.

My swollen eyes were crying, because a physical therapist who I still refer to fondly as Lucifer had just visited me with news that it could take anywhere from 2 months to a full year until I could walk again. She had babbled on like an autistic squirrel for what seemed like an hour, tossing in tactless jokes here and there, but I wasn't listening. I was drugged out, drifting off in Percocet-Land, and the only thing I could focus on was the idea of an entire year spent in a bed. A year without running, a year without walking, a year without skiing, a year without splashing in puddles--a year without living.

After Dr. Lucifer the sadistic physical therapist finally exited the room, leaving me alone in my remote-control bed, malfunctioning TV, and the sting of antiseptic air, I picked up my iPod from the bedside table. I had been listening to it when I got hit by the truck, and miraculously, it still worked. I stuck the headphones in my ears, which were still crusted with dried blood, and turned the iPod on shuffle. The first song that came on was "Castles Made of Sand."

The song seemed so perfect, and the moment so cruel. The last verse of the song about the young girl who was crippled hit me harder than the bumper of a truck that I had so recently become acquainted with. I laid there in bed, wondering about castles made of sand, and golden-winged ships and what it means to slip into the sea, until finally in the midst of all my wondering, I realized how happy I was to be alive.

"Castles Made of Sand"
--Jimi Hendrix

Down the street you can hear her scream you're a disgrace
As she slams the door in his drunken face
And now he stands outside
And all the neighbors start to gossip and drool
He cries "oh, girl you must be mad,
What happened to the sweet love you and me had?"
Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green

And so castles made of sand fall in the sea, eventually

A little Indian brave who before he was ten,
Played war games in the woods with his Indian friends
And he built up a dream that when he grew up
He would be a fearless warrior Indian Cheif
Many moons past and more the dream grew strong until
Tomorrow he would sing his first war song and fight his first battle
But something went wrong, surprise attack killed him in his sleep that night.

And so castles made of sand melts into the sea, eventually

There was a young girl, who's heart was a frown
Cause she was crippled for life,
And she couldn't speak a sound
And she wished and prayed she could stop living,
So she decided to die
She drew her wheelchair to the edge of the shore
And to her legs she smiled you wont hurt me no more
But then a sight she'd never seen made her jump and say
"Look! a golden winged ship is passing my way."

And it really didn't have to stop, it just kept on going...

And so castles made of sand slips into the sea, eventually..."